November 02, 2010
Often, children raised in alcoholic families learn the "Four Ds" early on:
- Don’t talk about what is really going on
- Don’t trust anyone but yourself
- Don’t feel or have needs because there is no one available to validate or respond to you
- Deny there is a problem
What might be considered overachieving by others might seem routine to children of alcoholics who learned to try to be perfect so they wouldn’t disrupt things or incur the wrath of the alcoholic.
Children in such a system may also have trouble identifying or expressing their feelings. In their homes it may not have been okay to cry or be angry.
April's VIDEO Story
April had suffered alcohol abuse, drug abuse, sexual abuse and physical abuse all before the age of 16.
Click the VIDEO graphic to the LEFT to watch her incredible story and see how she found Recovery!
Attitudes and emotions crucial to a child like, "I’m sorry," or even "I love you," might have been absent or not authentic, delivered without an emotional foundation or behaviors consistent with such statements.
There is a saying in 12 Step help groups that "We’re only as sick as our secrets," but breaking the pattern of secrecy or the no-talk rules that may have existed in a family can be difficult.
It’s important to understand that acknowledging the reality of an alcoholic family is not about blame.
It’s about understanding the disease of alcoholism and the dire effects it can have on a family, then taking responsibility for your own behavior once you’ve gained the tools with which to live a healthy and balanced life.
EXCELLENT RESOURCE
"Family Roles In Addiction" - VIDEO/DVD
Filled With Break-Through Recovery Insight (Length: 46:36)
Most families play certain roles during the addiction and recovery process. In "Family Roles In Addiction" you'll discover if YOU or your FAMILY fits into any of these roles...
The Addict, The Caretaker, The Hero, The Mascot, The Lost Child, and the Scapegoat.
In "Family Roles In Addiction" you will begin to overcome issues, and what could be classified as the addiction to the role.
Click HERE: "Family Roles In Addiction" Video/DVD
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Bob and Shelley
Founders/Recovery Network
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